Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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