hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
