I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
