At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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