Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
