Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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