i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
vagina is talking i cant
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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