Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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