direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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