It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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