Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize