Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
