i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
