You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Randomize
