Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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