did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
