Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
