I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
