last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
