Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
