she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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