East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
