South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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