I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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