Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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