this beer tastes like vomit already
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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