Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
