dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
me + whiskey = a bad person
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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