so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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