she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
