We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize