brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
