Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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