im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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