I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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