Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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