remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
