Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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