Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
