I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
