I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
