Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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