True but thats because hes a fetus.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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