I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
