I wish I could teleport
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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