no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
