At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
