You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
