member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
