Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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