Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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