i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
