Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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