do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
