so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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