I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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