She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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