it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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