The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have tasted many bathrooms
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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