There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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