So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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