2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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