Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
