Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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