Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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