There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
