Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
