Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
