Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
