her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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