Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
