just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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