Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
