Do you still have your period?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Randomize
