the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
