I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
