Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
